A panel at the National Education Association has convinced the NFL to forgo keeping score in Super Bowl XLI.

Since there is no longer a $12.00 ticket (Super Bowl I), no tailgate parties within a mile of the stadium, no parking, at the
stadium, unless you pay 5 times the price of a Super Bowl One ticket, and no lady’s purses measuring more than 8-1/2” X 11”
being permitted in the stadium, the NFL and the Super Bowl Host Committee decided, what the heck, let’s kill one more
tradition and GO SCORELESS.

The NEA pointed out that “going scoreless” will demonstrate the truly progressive idea that non-outcome based athletic
competition, as NEA proposes for all schools, can work in the NFL as well. In addition, the Bear’s and Colt’s head coaches are
under enough stress, being black and all. So the elimination of there having to be a winner and a loser will just let them “enjoy
the game.”

One other change for the festivities has been announced. The National Anthem will be sung at the end of the game instead of
the beginning and the last line of the first stanza will be sung as follows: O’er the land of the almost free and the home of the
near brave.